It's one thing, when a little unstable turned out to be a minor in your bed character. Nobody will condemn, if you do not begin to conduct intimate conversations with him, spare his self-esteem and answer the calls. Quite the opposite - if the problems with an erection were overtaken by a man whom you seriously consider your half, and children are called dad. We believe that you do not agree with humbleness of sex forever. Then say thank you to Women's Health: we collected all the scientific data on erectile dysfunction and realized what should and should not be done by a woman who wants to help her partner cope with intimate problems.
To begin with, make sure that you do not dramatize and that there is something wrong with your man. "The term" erectile dysfunction ", which physicians usually replace the vulgar" impotence ", has a clear definition, - recalls the senior lecturer of the Department of Urology MGMSU, Cand. Alexander Bernikov. - This is the inability to achieve an erection or complete sexual intercourse for three consecutive months, regardless of the age of the man . Stress, discord in the family, trauma or illness can be the reason that a person in a certain period of life or from time to time can not achieve an erection. But only if this condition lasts more than three months, it should be regarded as a dysfunction. "
If in your bedroom everything is exactly as described by the doctor, one reason for joy is nevertheless: lethargy of the penis, whatever the reasons it may be caused, is perfectly treatable. The main problem, perhaps, is to drag a man to the doctor. "I often see patients who, before appearing in my office, for years, or even decades, lived with erectile problems," the urologist Alexander Bernikov mourns. - Excuses are always standard: "It's just stress, you need to rest - and everything will pass", "I'm already too late to have sex," "I do not want anyone to know about my difficulties." Needless to say, for years these men and their companions were not happy, although it would be possible to solve the problem with modern methods of treatment at the first consultation. " The conclusion begs one: do not want to grow old in anticipation of the night of love - act,
Error 1. Search for problems in his headAnd you, and 80% of men are sure that the lack of an erection has purely psychological reasons and it's enough to knock out a bigger salary (or to marry a student, or go to Fiji), how everything will turn up at once. In fact, only 20% of cases require psychotherapy, and the vast majority of men suffer from trivial disorders in the vascular system that interfere with a full sexual life. And the condition of the vessels, alas, did not improve the dance by a pole or a frank conversation.
Mistake 2. Blame yourself allEach unsuccessful attempt to raskochegarit man in bed produces complexes not only in his head. "I'm already 28 - it's clear, the old woman does not excite him," - even the most confident girls visit bad thoughts about themselves. At such moments it is useful to remember that the violation of blood supply to the penis and, as a consequence, problems with erection are the abuse of alcohol and tobacco, love for fatty foods and a sedentary lifestyle. Only if you taught him to drink and be lazy, you can sprinkle ashes on his head.
Error 3. Blaming the whole manSex is especially good after a fight, but if the scandal broke out because of sex, you can not count on success. On the other hand, when sexual hormones are bubbling in the blood, and discharge does not happen, especially want to shout something evil, like: "I knew it: you have someone! And then go to her! "But it's better for you to keep silent: a man who can not justify himself for his powerlessness should not justify himself in treason. So, you know, not far and to the problems with erection, caused by psychogenic factors.
Mistake 4. Give up sexual intercourseInactivity is detrimental to sexual health, and avoiding intimate contact for fear of disappointment is the worst thing to do. Deliver to each other the pleasure of men and women, fortunately, can even with difficulties with erection. In the end, the time of treatment can be a chance for couples to try something new, to show imagination and even revive an intimate life.
Mistake 5. Focus on sexBy forcing a man to consult with specialists, do not focus on the fact that you are worried about the lack of an intimate life or your relationships themselves. From a medical point of view, erectile dysfunction is just a symptom of serious problems in the human vascular system and a signal that a stroke, a heart attack and other deadly pathologies have already chosen their prey. Therefore, in conversation it is more important to emphasize that you are concerned about the health of a loved one, and an erection is so, ugh!
Mistake 6. PanicErectile dysfunction is curable in the vast majority of cases, but sometimes it takes time to choose a method of treatment or concentration of drugs. Do not panic if an hour after the visit to the doctor the man did not attack you with a wild beast - just once again support him in an uneasy decision to discuss his problem with a specialist.
Comment of a doctor-sexologist, psychotherapist:
"Erectile dysfunction is just a symptom that will tell a specialist about the somatic and psychogenic problems of a person. And to make the diagnosis of "no erection" is as strange as, for example, "fever" instead of "pneumonia." If, during masturbation, the degree of hardness is sufficient to enter and the patient even has morning erections at least sometimes - this clearly demonstrates the safety of the body component. Such a man does not need the treatment of a urologist or an endocrinologist - it is the prerogative of a sexologist who "works" both with what is above the belt and with what is lower. The specialist will help to prevent the development of the syndrome of anxious expectation of sexual failure or to outline the ways of treatment. The problem is sometimes solved in just one step, when the doctor explains the mechanisms of this disorder, corrects the settings and gives clear recommendations to the couple.